Damn You Auto Correct

I don't have an iphone, but my sister does so I'm familiar with how they autocorrect text messages, creating some pretty awkward situations.  Here are the top 25 entries from damnyouautocorrect.com. Enjoy.

25. Special Delivery

Nothin like a good old box of Girl Scout Pussies. I usually wash them down with a nice glass of milk.

24. New Paint Color

I'm glad I don't live with Jason. Period red is my least favorite color.

23. The Secret Ingredient

Isn't this the key to any good recipe? Just add 4 tbsp of vaginal extract and you're golden.

22. Uncle Dick

How appropriate is it that the uncle's name is "Uncle Dick" in this exchange? Literally couldn't work any better. On a serious note, how do you get the nickname Dick from the name Richard? I've always wondered what the hell that's all about.

21. So Very Wrong

I love how Charlie reacts to this. He gets real. He has a legitimate reason to think that his girlfriend has a poop fetish. "If you're trying to be cute or funny it's not working." That's gold. I would react the same way. There's literally nothing funny about your girlfriend sleeping with a shit you dropped in the toilet. Crisis avoided, Charlie. Breath easy Bro Montana.

20. Bad Day

I don't have manboobs so I don't have much to say about them other than that I'm very happy not to have them.  But, here is a website solely dedicated to man boobs for all the enthusiasts out there.   Marvelous Man Boobs


19. The Concert

I'm with Jimmy's friend here. I would much rather go to a kinky fuck party than a stupid Linkin Park concert. That's so 2003.  Kinky fuck parties are all the rage now.

18. Coming Out

I'd be pretty pissed if my mom ever had a "hunch" that I was gay.  And it's funny that this kid's mom thought it was completely acceptable that her son came out of the closet to her via text message.  Now that's unconditional love right there.  She's totally lying about his father though, he'd definitely be pissed.

17. First Kiss

Cameltoe = disgusting = I don't want to know what your snatch looks like through your clothes. 

16. Worst Possible Thing To Text To Mom

I'd like to know how this kid's Mom actually reacted to this.  The caption says it all: The Worst Possible Thing to Text Mom.  Shaved pork sounds tasty though.

15. New iPhone Feature

Imagine if there was an app called 'Cockslap".  One of your friends pisses you off and you just virtually cockslap them.  That'd be a money app. Boom goes the dynamite.

14. You’ve Got Mail

Who cares about your new black Pumas. You got a new penis? And it's black?  Now that's intriguing.

13. Now That’s A Bad Date

Suppose if she did order the lobster and filet mignon at dinner.  Does he still kiss the gold-digging whore?  That's why you gotta stick to fast food joints bro.

12. Unfortunate Accident

Must be be an awfully tight butthole.

11. Dinner For One

I wouldn't know how to respond either if my dad texted that to me but this kid takes it in stride.  But, I think what he says back to his dad actually makes this exchange funny.  Just trying to make the best of a situation, however weird it is.  Have fun eating Mom's box, guess I'm going to Taco Bell.

10. First Date

Slow down bro.  You don't need to jump off a bridge.  Screw her dimples and get right down to business.  Just be forward and don't beat around the bush.  You know you want to see her big beautiful nipples so just go for it man. Can't live life with these regrets.  If she doesn't want to show you her nipples on the 2nd date then it's on to the next one. Jay-Z would approve.

9. The Accident

What did he expect to happen while drinking a cock? He acted so surprised by the outcome.

8. We Need To Talk

Poor Jason.  He goes from definitely getting it in with Jenna to getting dumped in 0.5 seconds all because of autocorrect.  On to the next one bro.

7. Promotional Kitten Basket

I actually don't really find this funny.  Probably because it was a conversation between two girls.

6. Best Dad Ever

This Dad really wants his daughter to be a muff diver huh?  He's right though, men are dicks.  Sorry I'm not sorry.

5. Prom Dress

My prom dress was dark Fuckweasel.  This girl messed up BIG TIME, everyone wears fuchsia.  Way to blend in on the biggest day of your life.

4. Sticky Situation

Cum in your hair is the worst.

3. The Loan

I'd take that $300 and buy apple sauce with it anyway. Dude, you NEED apple sauce, not a dumb house.

2. Thanksgiving Prep Work

Saying "bad visual" doesn't help this situation at all.  It only puts the visual in your head.  It's kinda like after the first time you watch 2 Girls 1 Cup.  You're scarred (or aroused for some strange reason).

1. Apologies

What an asshole, I wanted that waffle. That kid definitely didn't get it in on the first date either with that "you never know" attitude. Have confidence in your dick dude.