Who puts mayonnaise on an Italian sub?

I'd say that pretty much everyone who knows me knows that I absolutely despise mayonnaise. I refuse to even touch a jar of it. It's gross and so are you if you eat it.

That was harsh, sorry. But mayonnaise is still gross.  Look at it:

And people wonder why America is so fat?

But honestly, the reason I really hate it is because it's been put on my food so many times even though I've said no mayonnaise. Every fast food place has done it to me.  No surprise there considering who works at those places. I almost expect it at this point.  But, it doesn't end there. What's one of my favorite foods? Italian subs. I can even count how many times mayo has been put on my subs even though I said not to.  It happened to me again last night, which is why I am so fired up.

Serious question: who the hell likes mayonnaise on an Italian sub?

That's psycho behavior. I'm not even Italian and I'm offended. Donald Trump should build a wall to keep those people out. Then he'd get my vote. And the scary thing is, every pizza place/deli in NJ does it. It's standard. Blows my mind that I have to ask for no mayonnaise every time. Then I have to nervously wait until it's delivered for the moment I open my sandwich and either scream or sigh in relief.  Every takeout order gives me anxiety.

My real point is, how does mayonnaise even go with and Italian sub? I get that it goes on a turkey sandwich. But Italian? Am I the only one who feel this way?  Am I crazy? Even if I liked mayo, I don't get it.  Oil and vinegar all day every day.

The only thing I will eat with mayonnaise is deviled eggs. I have no idea why either. 

I know what you're thinking too. "Ohhhh I could get him so good with a mayo prank." Yes, people have tried to mess with me before. It didn't end well.  Don't even think about it unless you want a foot up your ass (not a real threat).

The only good kind of mayonnaise?  Patty Mayonnaise of course.  Such a babe.

Also, if you put mayonnaise on french fries, you have no soul.