I want Tiger Woods to be good at golf again

It's Masters week, which makes for the best weekend in golf. The young guns like Jordan Spieth and Rory McIlroy are currently dominating the sport.  It's a rivalry that's going to be really fun to watch for years to come.  But, golf isn't the same for me without Tiger Woods playing.  Even when he has played and sucked the past couple years, you can't keep your eyes off of him when he's on the course.  Everything he does is mesmerizing for some reason. He's the main draw for golf fans whether they want to admit it or not.  Numbers don't lie, look at the ratings for the first round of the Masters with him not playing this year.  Plain and simple, he puts asses in the seats.  

Yes, Tiger made many personal mistakes.  He lied to and cheated on his wife multiple times.  It became a national story and he became the butt of every joke:

Men laughed and women were outraged. Blah blah blah.  His wife is a life-long gold-digger anyway (cue sexism).  But, I digress. I'm not here to talk about ethics and morality.  I'm here to talk about my entertainment purposes as a golf fan.

I'm talking about Tiger Woods the golfer, not the cheating, stripper-loving, Ambien sex-freak Tiger.  I'm pulling hard for him to be good again.  He was so dominant when I was growing up. He changed golf, he made it cool.  He made people below the age of 40 interested in the sport. I bought a fucking golf video game because of him.  A video game!  Who ever thought that would even exist?

He gave us shots like this:

Commercials like this:

Inspired Dave Chappelle like this:

Freaked out like this:

And sent text messages like this:

Tiger: Because I’m blasian

He's 40 now, which is certainly not too old to make a comeback. Especially in golf. Jack Nicklaus won the Masters at age 46.  He has time to be relevant again, if he can stay healthy.  That's the big question mark, and that has proven to be a big "if".

Here's my advice for Tiger:  go get married again and just start having more affairs.  That's when he was most relaxed and playing his best.  That is clearly his comfort zone. I don't care about his moral compass. Do it for us golf fans, Tiger.