Monday, March 5, 2012

Lion Uses Chad Ochocinco As Toilet


New England Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco may be king of the field but he certainly is not king of the jungle.  On Saturday night, Ochocinco attended a charity event in Miami when he was peed on by a lion and immediately reflected on his misfortune via Twitter.



The incident happened at a Voice for Children charity event Ochocinco attended with Darrelle Revis and soon-to-be-wife Evelyn Lozada, which Ochocinco described as spraying "like a water gun." "I never go out at night n the night I do I get peed on by a real 'Lion' I feel honored, who can say they got peed on by a "Lion," Ochocinco tweeted.  Ochocinco was extra mad, since he was wearing a custom suit and Louboutins, just in case he had to go straight to church the next day, according to Yahoo Sports.
"It's not funny i have on my good church clothes," he wrote.

First of all, if I was religious and went to church I would outdress the shit out of Chad Ochocinco. Moving on, gotta hand it to him though, he really handled this incident like the humble man that he is right? Nope, he blew it up all over his Twitter in typical Ochocinco fashion. Just trying to get any publicity thrown his way since Tom Brady refused to throw the football his way all year. I don't blame him though. If I was him I would do anything I could to make people forget how much of a shitty season I had, even if it means getting a golden shower from a lion. If I was a Patriots fan I sure as hell would want to take a piss on Ochocinco for being too retarded to learn the offense all year and only making 15 catches. The guy that was supposed to replace Randy Moss feels "honored" to be pissed on by a lion. At this point for Chad, I'm not sure if it's better to be pissed off or pissed on. Here's a fun fact: Ochocinco was targeted by a lion's piss exactly as many times as he was targeted by Brady in the Superbowl. But hey, I'm not a Pats fan so I ain't mad at you bro. Keep sucking. You don't see lions pissing on these guys.





Serious question: If March came in with a lion for Ochocinco, should he watch out for lambs at the end of the month?




P.S. Someone please tell R. Kelly to calm down...





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